• Now, what I’m about to write, could be called “literary” suicide, but I still have to ask it. So here it is…

“Do straight men  ever just get tired of gay men?”  No, I’m serious, all the flaunting, the theatrics. the exxagerated body movements, you name it. I certainly know that gay men who tend to identify as more masculine often talk to me about this part of the gay subculture.

I personally also get tired of homophobia, past and present, emanating from straight men, but I also see  hetero guys showing increasing tolerance for the lifestyles of gay men; however, most straight men are far less exotic in their thinking and actions, therefore you hear and see less of the annoying antics until machismo calls. Then they’re right at the top of the list with equally annoying gay men.

I have always felt more comfortable around straight males, mainly because I don’t relate to a lot of the cultural traps that gay men fall into: surrounded by “fag” hags, loving Judy Garland, Barbara Streisand, musicals, Cher, Madonna-you name it-anything whimsical, light of motion.

Alone, I can act like I just popped out of a air bubble, as light headed, nonsensical as any effeminate gay guy, talk shit, even banter with my “sisters”,” my fraternity brothers.” There’s a time for it, but don’t come up to me in public and call me “mary” or any other effeminate, so called endearing names. I don’t like it. I’m a man and nothing about me looks or acts like a female( in general), except when i can’t find my iron or my needle and thread.

Now, back to the issue.You know how I feel, but how do Straight males truthfully feel about gay men? It’s generally accepted that the populace is becoming more tolerant of gays. Straight men are no exception, but they do have their limits and much of that tolerance is dependent on how gay men present themselves. I’ve had guys that tell me that they have no problem with gay men or their sexuality, but they do have a problem with the drama.

Now, I know many gay men that you would never be able to tell are gay; yet, I also have witnessed many gay guys with the flame element turned all the way up consistently. Its the drama that seems so unnecessary and which heterosexual men have a rough time understanding. Many prefer not to be around gay men because of this element alone. This need for attention seems  to be at the center of the controversy.

Gay males didn’t come out of the womb twisting, letting their arms fly, snapping their fingers, and that god awful high pitched s-s-s sound at the end of words and sentences. That’s extra and it just seems that the flame element could be a little less.

In reverse, the same would go for the so-called manly actions that straight guys like to  fall into when that machismo crap starts up. Gay men probably don’t like that nonsense either, so it shouldn’t be difficult to understand that straight men find these actions by gay men, annoying.

Theatrics and drama are the principal reasons that straight males often feel uncomfortable around gay males, not homophobia. Even males who are on the downlow or engage in sexual relations with gays, find the flame a little to hot. I’ve included some excerpts and comments from a forum on this topic. There is all kind of diversity on this topic, but the norm is outside of the range of homophobia. Most straight guys have nothing against gay males , they simply don’t understand the queenish extravagance of many gay men and their behavior.

Some gay men that read this, will be offended, but if you’re a guy that likes to flaunt your lifestyle though theatrics and drama, you might want to consider a little introspection.

Here are some liberating opinions on this matter:
1) ” While lots of young heterosexual males have armour-plated masculine personalities, some are less rugged. Indeed, under the impact of feminism, straight men have increasingly embraced the New Man ethos, rejecting traditional machismo in favor of a caring, sharing (and more queer?) notion of masculinity. Even the New Lad counter-revolution, despite its momentary robustness, seems unlikely to succeed in turning the clock back to pre-feminist patterns of maleness.

The different hetero and homo modes of maleness are not, of course, biologically fixed. As social values and expectations of men change, we could witness a greater convergence and blurring of straight and gay masculinity. The kinder, gentler New Man may, eventually, predominate among male heterosexuals. Conversely, as gay men grow in self-esteem and confidence – ceasing to see themselves as passive victims of homophobia and as having failed the test of manliness – some may embrace a more assertive form of male behaviour. This evolution in masculinity might, one day, lead to a greater degree of male communality, where queers are just as combative as straights, and heteros are equally as tender as gays.
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2)”I only feel “icky” not scared!
Actually I know several gay men that I think are great, but I also know many “flaming gay” men that I would like to run over.

It really wouldn’t matter what their sexual orientation is, it is the flamboyant over-the-top personality, and the constant attention seeking that gets to us straight men. Truth-be-told, we don’t even like women that act that way. As I have matured, I am no longer attracted to “slutty” women, no matter how sexy they may be. I think the same probably goes for gay men.

Now, I love Prince, and a few other bisexual men, and I have had experiences that some of the “homophobes” would probably shreik and run from, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I have always said that as soon as I am finished with all the women, I will turn gay and start on men!”

Edit to add:
My boss is gay, and I think he is a great guy, and I would hang out with him. It doesn’t make me feel “icky” to think of him having sex with his mate, but it does feel icky to think of cuddling up to a man and watching a movie! So, IMHO, it isn’t even the sex, it is the intimacy and vulnerability issue that isn’t acceptable among straight men.
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3) “I have a bit of a beef with it. It’s not that I care what you do with who or even who or what you want to get married to. I couldn’t care less. Liberty for all.

What gets me is, I used to work at this job where I had to constantly deflect and refuse homosexuals trying to pick me up. Constantly. It’s how a cocktail waitress must feel. It never ended.

I was complaining to some acquaintances about it and rather than thinking it was funny or something they immediately accused me of being some homophobic Nazi. Well, sorry, I just don’t dig the idea of making it with a dude. Word of my “hate” spread and the results would have been comical if not as absurd as they were.

I dont know which was worse: the constant attempts at picking me up or the honest to goodness PC push to [snip] to prove I didnt irrationally hate another human being.

So to a certain group of people you cannot for any reason refuse the sexual advances of anyone ever or you’re being a hateful bigot.

Another thing that irritates me that applies way too many people and in no way is gay exclusive or whatever is this picking a trait and becoming wholly absorbed in it. to the point that it rules every aspect of your life. I get it, you’re Italian or Irish or from Texas or gay or Methodist or Mormon or you really like soccer or whatever the hell you are. Do you really need to cover your car with stickers, wear t-shirts announcing it, open every conversation with it, etc…? Really, you dont have any hobbies or anything and this is all you do?

But I don’t encounter any of that stuff anymore. I’m the middle of nowhere with no neighbors. the way life should be. There really isnt anything more annoying or anything that can ruin a nice day quite like other people.”
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4) “Sorry, can’t help you out with that one. I’m straight and like the female parts. Just the way I’m wired, same as gays are wired to be attracted to what they are. Funny that straight men don’t have a problem with lesbians though, isn’t it?

I am definitely not frightened by gays. I do however find the “flamboyant” type of gays to be very annoying and therefore choose not to socialize with gays as more often than not they have friends like this.”
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5)” I have no idea why men are afraid of other men, who happen to enjoy men. Not just guys getting together and wrestling, or drinking beer and watching football, etc. I am referring to what the OP speaks to. I don’t know. I also don’t understand why a woman I know has actually puked a bit in her mouth and had to spit it out just at the thought of a man having sex with her. I don’t understand, and I don’t think I want to understand. It’s just silly to me.

I have this “thing” for Johnny Depp. I think he is a fantastic actor and can be really, really cute. Does that make me gay? Uh, I dunno. I don’t think so. I actually believe I would really like to give him a big kiss on the lips for just being so fantastic of an actor and cute as hell.

But, given a choice of having a lovemaking session with Johnny Depp, or just about any woman I can think of, I would choose the woman, or better yet, a few women, It all just seems a “better fit” with me.

Seriously, though, not like I wasn’t being serious, I have no idea why a gay man could be a threat to a straight man. I entertain the idea that, perhaps, there is something going on, that the “straight” man doesn’t want to address.

As for me, my wife gets a bit miffed when I comment on a woman, and how I think she is pretty, etc. But, if I comment on a man, she doesn’t get upset at all. Hmmmmmm……..I guess she realizes, the cute men are not really a threat to HER, but, maybe, the cute women could be.”
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6)
“Or perhaps most straight men are a lot more tolerant and open minded than you think? To be honest I haven’t met that many men who are true homophobics.

In many areas of life it’s the most ignorant and narrow minded among us who shout the loudest… And there are some religious people who seem to get a great deal of joy out of judging people and condemning them to hell, of course.

But for every raving homofobic who screams about how disgusting sex between two men are, you will have many, many guys who simply thinks: “Oh, so he’s gay, is he? OK. Hey, I wonder what’s for dinner tonight? I would really like some steak…. And I hope there’s beer in the fridge. Mmmmm…. Steak and beer…..”
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